Please help me with depression?

for the last year i think ive been iin a depression, i have a lovely boyfriend but i feel its cruel to go to him for support as he has a reason to be sad, ive been self harming to control it, but recently ive been drafting suicide notes and planning my death, if i go to my parents theyll treat me as an attention seeing little cow so where can i go for help, i cant alert my parent due to the fac that they will make it worst so that kinda rules out a phycologest ...